Tell me if this has happened to you recently.
You wake up, later than you were hoping. The blankets feel weighty and hard to throw off, and you can’t stop yawning.
You stumble out of bed, consider showering, and wonder how many more days you can push it off.
While you make breakfast, you wonder how long you’ll need to keep doing this. Another day lies ahead. Another day of being reminded how things used to be, how you wish they were, and how you’d like to know when life will go back to normal.
You sit at your computer and try to focus. But your mind flits from thought to thought. You hop from tab to tab, your mind a buzzing fly you just can’t swat. Of course you know what you should be doing. But your brain pulls away, begging you to do anything but that.
Little things go haywire. Tiny inconveniences annoy you more than they should: an unwelcome distraction that derailed your train of thought, the persistent annoying noises of other humans, clutter creeping over every surface. You try to calm down as you begin to feel overwhelmed. Gritting your teeth, you try to remind yourself that you need to be the adult, that this isn’t a big deal, that you don’t really have a reason to feel this way.
You’re exhausted from balancing that armload of all the emotions when that one final thing goes wrong. And everything tumbles from your grip. You snap, your resolve to hold it together crumbling. You just can’t take it any more.
Welcome to my brain for the last, uh, who knows how many weeks? I’ve lost count.
This pandemic is making everyone I know just a little bit bonkers.
And this should probably be expected.
Being overwhelmed is entirely rational right now
After all, we’re living through a time of collective trauma. Don’t believe me?
Trauma is a situation that “violates the familiar ideas and expectations about the world of an individual or society, plunging them into a state of extreme confusion and uncertainty.”
Tell me that’s not what’s happening. Everything right now is unknown and confusing and uncertain. We’re trying to make serviceable masks from scarves and not touch them when they start drooping. We get conflicting information from national leadership and medical experts and that article your aunt shared on Facebook. There’s no guarantee that stores will have the items we need in stock.
So it’s entirely expected that we’d be feeling a little out of sorts.
I’ve been working to accept that I’m not going to feel “normal” right now, and that’s okay.
But I’ve also been trying to figure out what helps me feel more okay. There’s been a lot of trial and error (and, you know, tears). But I have also discovered some tools and mindsets that help me calm down when I feel overwhelmed.
I’ll dive into the two mindsets that help me feel more centered and calm below. If you want even more practical tips for how to calm down when you’re feeling overwhelmed? Enter your email to get access to this list! The strategies in this list are time-tested and will help you get calm in less than 5 minutes. Grab a copy here!
2 Mindsets to Help You Calm Down when You Feel Overwhelmed
Mindset 1: I am normal.
It can be hard for us to figure out if what we’re feeling is normal. Spoiler alert: it probably is.
As we said before, this pandemic is causing a kind of collective trauma. And people respond to trauma with an entire range of emotions.
Are you feeling any of these?
- Fear
- Avoidance
- Negative thoughts, particularly about yourself
- Edginess
- Anger
- Grief
If so, congratulations! You are experiencing an entirely normal response to a traumatic event.
We can just about guarantee that someone else is unable to concentrate on anything but Instagram.
Someone else is cycling between moments of crazy productivity and moments of absolute apathy.
Someone else is raging because their housemates just won’t stop talking.
Someone else is enjoying working at home but feeling guilty about it.
Even if you aren’t in a virus hot spot, even if you feel like you “should be” doing fine, and even if you say you aren’t too worried – your feelings are entirely normal.
And they are also entirely okay.
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- Need something to do with your free evenings? Check out 31 Free Things to Do While You’re Stuck at Home.
- Want an easy recipe to make your morning brighter? Try A Cozy Chai Recipe for Mornings at Home.
- Looking for a good read? Check out 10 Books to Escape Into.
Mindset 2: I have what it takes to make it through.
One of the best (and only) podcasts I’ve listened to during the past few months is this episode of 10 Things to Tell You where Laura Tremaine interviews Dr. Becky, a clinical psychologist. My biggest takeaway from the episode is that we feel anxious when we anticipate a future event and are uncertain whether we will be able to handle it.
This makes so much of my anxiety seem more logical.
The reason I’m spinning out about working from home for another 6 weeks, or waiting in line outside the grocery store, or the lengthening of my to-do list is that I don’t know if I’ve got what it takes to succeed.
As this whole pandemic is filled with unknowns, the uncertainty is amplified. Of course we don’t know if we have what we need to succeed. We’ve never done a global pandemic before. No one knows what we need – maybe not even Anthony Fauci.
So absolutely, we need to acknowledge our feelings. We need to let ourselves grieve what we’re losing. We need to see our anxiety.
But we also need to remind ourselves that we are capable of more than we believe.
It’s like when you’re doing a workout and the instructor chirpily reminds you that your mind will give up before your body does. Your mind is going to tell you that you can’t finish those reps or that you need a break. But annoyingly, your body can actually do more than your mind thinks.
I suspect it’s similar here. Your mind is going to want to tell you that you can’t do this. It’s going to tell you that things are too hard and you’ll never make it through.
But you, my friend, are resilient. You can do hard things and come out on the other side bruised and scratched but still breathing.
If you’re not quite convinced you actually do have what it takes, this might be a time to consider how you can make that feel more true. If you’re anxious about a long day of conference calls? Get dressed in clothes that make you feel like a responsible grown-up. Have water and caffeine at the ready. Make your space as comfortable as possible. Plan for how you’ll squeeze in quick breaks.
(If you truly don’t believe that this is true for you? If one more hard thing will break you into a thousand pieces? Please talk to someone or seek virtual counseling.)
Looking for more?
For the additional tricks I’m learning to use to calm down when I feel overwhelmed, check out this list! I’ve had, ahem, plenty of opportunity to test them out these past few weeks. And I can tell you quite honestly that they do help. I hope they bring a little calm into your life, too!
How are you dealing with overwhelm right now? Tell me in the comments, or find me @annaleighsaxton on Instagram!
P.S. Tension mounting as you think about all the stuff you’ve got to do when you close this tab? Click here. It will help.
