I’m getting one message pounded over and over into my consciousness these days. It keeps popping up in books, in podcasts, in random Instagram posts. It’s like the cosmic Google ad that will. not. quit.
I keep hearing, over and over, that small actions, repeated faithfully, can eventually pay off in big ways.
Literally everything right now seems to be whispering that slow and steady wins the race, that small habits are the only way to create sustainable change, that I need to continue walking in my path, one foot after the other, instead of throwing up my hands in frustration and calling an Uber.
Sigh.
Fine.
So I am continuing to preach (to myself and you) that one tiny change can make a difference. This month, I’m exploring how making tiny changes will help me pursue my dreams.
How Identity Shapes Your Habits
Lately, I’ve been reading Atomic Habits by James Clear. It’s a highly popular book about how to form habits you’ll actually keep. One thing that makes Clear’s work on habits different is that he emphasizes that our habits are closely related to our identities.
When we want to make a change, we often start with our outward behaviors. We proclaim that we will go to the gym three times a week or read more. Instead, Clear advocates a different path toward change. Before you adjust anything about your behavior, make an active choice about your identity. What kind of person do you want to be?
It’s a subtle shift, but an important one. Instead of saying that your dream is to run a marathon, say that you want to be a runner. Instead of saying that you want to read more, say that you want to be a reader.
Once you’ve decided who you want to become, then let that identity guide the outward changes that you make. As you establish those habits, they will continue to enforce your new identity. Every time you complete a workout, you feel more like a runner. Every time that you pick up your book, your identity as a reader is reinforced.
How I’m Choosing a New Identity
Right now, I want to be a writer. Yes, I would like to write a book and make writing my full-time job. But even if those things don’t happen for decades (or ever), I still want to be a writer. And I want to feel like one right now, even as I hold down a different 9-5 gig. Rachel Hollis might tell me to drop my job like a hot potato and just chase after my dreams. But she also doesn’t have to pay my bills, you know? Just because I have a dream doesn’t mean I can drop all my responsibilities.
But I also believe that just because I have responsibilities doesn’t mean I have to ditch all my dreams. I can become a writer now, in my life that’s also full of other things. This seems to be how most writers start out. They crank out their books in the early mornings before work, or in the midnight hour when their babies are asleep.
So now, it’s my turn. To become a writer, I need to write every day.
How to Pursue Your Dreams: A Reality Check
Now, my gut instinct is to make grand statements and proclaim that I am going to write for two hours every morning! Hooray!
But we’ve already seen how well things like that work for me. (Shall we reexamine my failed workout attempts?) I am being continually reminded that I have to keep this goal small. If I set out to write for two hours every morning, I will do it once. Maybe twice. Then I will start sleeping in. Then I would bemoan how terrible I was at staying true to this thing that is important to me.
So I’m following James Clear’s advice. He advocates for making habits tiny, at first. The fledgling habit needs to be so small there’s no way you can not do it. So I’m starting out with 5 minutes of writing every morning. That’s it. Just 5 minutes. Even on my busiest days, that’s something I can handle.
Obviously, there will be days where I write more. But if I write for just 5 minutes, I get to cross it off on my calendar. (And I might bite off my own fingers if it meant I got to cross off a task on my calendar.) And it also reinforces, every day, that I am a writer. Once February is over, I will work on increasing my daily writing time.
I don’t expect miracles from this. No book deals will drop out of the sky. No manuscripts will leap, fully formed, from my fingers.
But I suspect that I just might start to slowly build the stamina and confidence that will make those things possible, someday far in the future.
Now, it’s your turn. As you think about the coming season, here are some questions to reflect upon:
- Who do I want to become? What do I want my identity to be?
- What are the actions of someone with that identity? Are there actions that person would prioritize every day?
- What is one small, do-able change I can make to move toward that identity this month?
- How will I track that change and hold myself accountable?